{"id":6511,"date":"2016-12-23T06:00:20","date_gmt":"2016-12-23T11:00:20","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.elfster.com\/?p=6511"},"modified":"2023-03-29T10:42:24","modified_gmt":"2023-03-29T14:42:24","slug":"how-to-add-personalized-surprise-wedding-gift-straight-registry","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.elfster.com\/blog\/2016\/12\/23\/how-to-add-personalized-surprise-wedding-gift-straight-registry\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Add a Personalized Surprise to a Wedding Gift Straight from the Registry"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"gift<\/a>
A sweetly packaged present | Image courtesy flick\u2019r user Shari’s Berries<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Scrolling through another politely-requested online gift registry, I see the usual suspects: a crockpot, a distinct china pattern set, a brightly-colored stand mixer. The difference, this time, was that it was a dear friend from college who had become engaged. While I was thrilled for her (and who doesn\u2019t love to attend a wedding), I was disappointed with the gift registry\u2014she was asking me, one of her closest friends, to buy her a stock gift off of a registry list. <\/span><\/p>\n

Kathy and I were more than best friends in college\u2014we were so alike that people often asked us if we were sisters, which we played along with for a few laughs. After graduation, we ended up living in different cities and eventually different states, but we\u2019ve stayed close over the years. So now that my collegiate bestie was getting married, how could I get her a gift with no thought, no meaning behind it that just anyone could give her? I couldn\u2019t bring myself to do it. <\/span><\/p>\n

The Dilemma: Fighting the Urge to Make Their Gift About You<\/h4>\n
\"kitchenAid<\/a>
A colorful and fun mixer to inspire kitchen creativity | Image courtesy Amazon seller KitchenAid<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A recent study found that your <\/span>closest friends are the ones who are least likely to buy you a gift from your registry<\/span>. And it makes sense. When you make a gift registry, you\u2019re telling people exactly what to buy for you, as if they were strangers to your likes and tastes. But your closest friends want to stand out. They want their gifts to proclaim, \u201cLook how well I know you! Here\u2019s a lovely gift you weren\u2019t expecting, that you would never have asked for, but that is absolutely <\/span>you<\/span><\/i>.\u201d <\/span><\/p>\n

The problem is <\/span>the gift giver is thinking of him or herself<\/span><\/a>, not the recipient. A wedding, an incredibly special and personal event meant to be all about the newly married couple, now becomes focused on the gift-giver. Is that really the message we want to send to our friends and loved ones? Interestingly, though, \u201cWhen gift-giving is anonymous,\u201d the study found, \u201cclose friends are now OK with buying off of a registry,\u201d an idea that reiterates the notion it\u2019s a selfish response to try to avoid buying gifts from a registry. <\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI think people do get sort of disappointed when their close friends don\u2019t listen to their preferences,\u201d <\/span>says researcher Morgan Ward<\/span><\/a>. From the recipient\u2019s perspective, an off-the-registry gift might appear as though you are saying, \u201cI know you, and what you want, better than you know yourself.\u201d So the dilemma becomes how to give a meaningful gift while respecting the wishes of the recipients. <\/span><\/p>\n

The Solution: Adding a Personal Touch to Pre-Picked Presents<\/h4>\n
\"ravioli<\/a>
Ravioli making set for homemade dishes that WOW | Image courtesy Amazon seller William & Douglas<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

As Kathy\u2019s wedding day approached, I felt the pressure building in my chest and didn\u2019t know what to do. I couldn\u2019t let Kathy down by giving her something as silly as $100 bills folded into origami swans. Without any other ideas, I started shuffling through her gift registry, certain it would be a dead end. Her list was mostly kitchen items: a new flatware set, a large-capacity coffee maker, a <\/span>pasta roller<\/span><\/a>, a ravioli kit, and a set of new barbecue tools (probably for her hubby-to-be).<\/span><\/p>\n

As I scrolled, I tried to think about how I would feel if I were in her (white and sparkly) shoes. Knowing Kathy, I was sure she\u2019d spent a lot of time picking out her registry and making sure everything she added was something she and her new husband could use to start to build their new life together. <\/span><\/p>\n

Then I thought about Kathy getting married in the blindingly white, floor-length halter gown I had helped her pick out. I thought about the upcoming reception, with the inevitable toasts and all the knives clinking against glass urging the new couple to kiss. I imagined them driving off in a flashy car with writing on the windows and streamers flowing everywhere as they sped off into the sunset. I thought about what their life would be like together. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"handmade<\/a>
A stylish and functional pasta-making accessory | Image courtesy Etsy seller StitchedbyBeverly<\/a><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

I knew they were planning to buy a house right away\u2014she\u2019d been sending me Zillow listings asking for my no-BS best friend opinion. Were they going to have kids soon as well? It seemed like Kathy was stepping out of my world and into a romance novel with white picket fences, children\u2019s toys littering the lawn, and an ice cream truck jingling by. And that was when I knew I had to shop for her in this new world, not our old one of dorm rooms and college cafeterias.<\/span><\/p>\n

I revisited her registry and put the items she\u2019d selected in their proper place in the imaginary future world I\u2019d created. That\u2019s when everything seemed to come together. I saw Kathy making a ravioli dish for her husband while he grilled chicken and vegetables on the barbecue before sitting down to enjoy their meal together (with their new flatware, of course). It was perfect. And they were perfect together. And I wanted to help them bring the life they\u2019ve been dreaming of to fruition by giving them the perfect gifts\u2014a blend of their requests with a couple complimentary surprises thrown in. <\/span><\/p>\n

To protect Kathy\u2019s stylish wardrobe from rouge flour bombs, I got her an adorable chef\u2019s apron in her native Italian flag colors. To guide her on her new, courageous attempts at pasta making, I found her <\/span>an easy-to-follow pasta cookbook<\/span><\/a>. Then, to show her I care (and listen), I bought her the pasta roller and ravioli kit straight off of her gift registry. <\/span><\/p>\n

\"kitchen<\/a>
The thin, flour-sack material of this towel makes it easy to tie into a bow | Image courtesy Target<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Finally, after carefully bundling her presents in a neat box and using the customary nuptial-themed wrapping paper, I added a last little touch. Instead of spending four bucks on a plastic bow that would likely get thrown away, I spent less on <\/span>a reusable printed floursack kitchen towel<\/span>. I wound some shimmering gold ribbon around the box and tied the towel into a bow around the ribbon for a sweet, and practical, clue about what was inside.<\/span><\/p>\n

Weddings are all about celebrating the love of the couple and giving them the support, encouragement, and funds needed to start their new life journey together. Putting your own, simple twist on gifts from their registry can show the newlyweds you\u2019ve thought about the adventures awaiting them in the future. Kathy ended up loving my gift because I both listened to and surprised her\u2014and showed her I saw great happiness (and delicious pasta) for her in the days ahead. <\/span><\/p>\n

Let Elfster help you <\/i><\/b>create a wedding wish list<\/i><\/b><\/a>, or pick the perfect wedding gift from any of our <\/i><\/b>featured gift guides<\/i><\/b><\/a>. Then be sure to connect with us on <\/i><\/b>Facebook<\/i><\/b><\/a>, find us on Instagram at @Elfstergram, and on twitter @elfster for more thoughtful gifting tips and tricks.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Scrolling through another politely-requested online gift registry, I see the usual suspects: a crockpot, a distinct china pattern set, a brightly-colored stand mixer. The difference, this time, was that it was a dear friend from [read more]<\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2746,"featured_media":6513,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"inline_featured_image":false,"wprm-recipe-roundup-name":"","wprm-recipe-roundup-description":"","_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[529,532,526],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-6511","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","7":"category-diy-and-handmade","8":"category-gift-giving","9":"category-weddings"},"yoast_head":"\nHow to Add a Personalized Surprise to a Wedding Gift Straight from the Registry - Good Cheer | Elfster Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Learn how to add a personalized surprise to any gift pulled straight from the wedding registry. 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