{"id":5837,"date":"2016-11-14T16:46:28","date_gmt":"2016-11-14T21:46:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/blog.elfster.com\/?p=5837"},"modified":"2023-03-29T10:40:55","modified_gmt":"2023-03-29T14:40:55","slug":"unwrapping-japanese-gift-giving-traditions-generosity-to-presentations","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.elfster.com\/blog\/2016\/11\/14\/unwrapping-japanese-gift-giving-traditions-generosity-to-presentations\/","title":{"rendered":"Unwrapping Japanese Gift Giving Traditions: Simple Generosity and Artful Presentations"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I first started dating the woman who would become my wife, we were young, irresponsible, and worked low-paying jobs. Consequently, and not helped by our love for going out to dinner, we were generally strapped for cash.<\/p>\n

Her birthday happened to fall a month after we both realized we were in a this-is-the-one relationship, and it plunged me into an indecisive, Hamlet-esque agony. Did I scrimp and save to get something extravagant? Or did I just not get her a present this year? Because, I thought, some cheap little trinket would be far worse than no gift at all.<\/p>\n

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I was far from the Blues King that night\u2014maybe the Duke of Being Grateful? Image courtesy Amazon seller Johnson Guitars<\/a>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Then I remembered a pretty low-key birthday from a few years ago, just some friends and I. At some point in the evening, one of my buddies very quietly handed me a small package with a harmonica inside. \u201cI thought you might like to play,\u201d was his simple explanation.<\/span><\/p>\n

He was right\u2014sort of. I have zero musical talent. I can\u2019t even hum along to music without feeling like the singer is somehow disgusted with me. But it was, truly, the thought that counted. That he thought, \u201cI bet Brian would like this,\u201d far outweighed my musical inaptitude. It was a very inexpensive gift, but it meant the world. <\/span><\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t know it at the time, but my friend was honoring a Japanese custom where it isn\u2019t the gift, but the presentation, that counts. The ritual. The thoughtfulness\u2014in a very literal sense. The idea that you are thinking about and valuing someone\u2014and how that can change the entire experience of not only receiving, but giving, gifts. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/i>Understanding Japanese Gift Giving Rituals<\/h4>\n
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Gifts are very important for people who have traveled. Image from Etsy seller ElegantCuff<\/a>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

There are a couple of different ways to understand the word \u201critual.\u201d There\u2019s a negative view which implies a sort of rote following of barely-understood customs, but then the word \u201critual\u201d can also connote a certain wisdom passed through the ages\u2014a ceremony that has been imbued with real and true importance through the collected weight and love of those for whom it has meaning. <\/span><\/p>\n

In many ways, the latter is what Japanese gift giving embodies. It\u2019s filled with old traditions and customs, the most important of which is that the gift itself barely matters. It\u2019s the act of giving, of showing someone that you actually care about them as a person, that\u2019s important. <\/span><\/p>\n

Because when you get down to it, gift giving is a sacrifice. A small one, but still. The culture doesn\u2019t demand big gifts, and indeed encourages small ones\u2014it\u2019s truly the thought that counts. <\/span><\/p>\n

<\/i>Simple Rules for Gifting in Japan<\/h4>\n

Of course, every ritual is built around, in essence, a set of rules\u2014and there are some important ones in Japan:<\/span><\/p>\n

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Learn how to wrap with fabric, in the Japanese tradition. Image courtesy Amazon seller Etsuko Yamada<\/a>.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n